We toss around the word fear a lot. Do you really know what it is? How do you identify if you are actually experiencing fear. And then what do you do with it? Do you lean in or run away?
I was reading a blog post from my favorite confidence coach, Kate Crocco, and she said it so perfectly with this example, I just had to share:
Kate Crocco, "Below are the two most common things to be looking out for, along with the lie you may be telling yourself, and then the TRUTH to combat this lie.
You make decisions to NOT take the next step because you are fearful you won’t have the time or won’t be able to keep up. This is the #1 thing I hear women saying. I can’t take that on (although I really want to) because I won’t have the time.
LIE: “If I were to launch a Mastermind I would possibly have 10-12 additional clients and how could I keep up with 10 new clients AND the work I already have?!”
TRUTH: If I booked 10-12 clients in my Mastermind I would have 20 additional hours of work per month. I would also be bringing in $10,000 extra in my business each month. AND I could then hire a VA to do 20 hours of back end work in my business for me (outside of my zone of genius). If the VA charges $40 per hour this would be an additional $800 in business expenses each month, BUT $9,200 in PROFIT.
Thoughts? This is called scaling your business. This FEAR of “not keeping up or having enough time” is what hold MOST women back from finding more success in their businesses.
2. You also make decisions to NOT take next steps and say yes to opportunities because you are afraid they will impede on your social life or relationships.
LIE: “If I were to launch the (above) Mastermind, I would have 20 hours less per month with my friends and family and I already feel strapped for time.”
TRUTH: If you launched that Mastermind, we already know you would have $9,200 extra each month in profit. With this extra money you could hire let’s say a personal assistant to do light housekeeping, laundry, meal prep, grocery shopping, errands, etc for 5 hours per week at $20 per hour. This would free up 20 hours per month to spend with friends, family, get to the gym, participate in hobbies, etc. and would only cost $400 per month. With that profit of $9,200 minus $400 you still are pocketing $8,800 per month with now extra cash in your pocket AND 20 additional hours per month to do the things you love.
How is this NOT a win win??? Right? This is why working through these specific fears of succeeding PLUS the others you may be experiencing is KEY to getting to that next level in your business. And how do I know this? I’ve been there before! Again, this is a normal fear to experience, but how you react to it is what can make or break your business."
If you want to read the rest of the article you can find it here!
So ask yourself:
- Is this fear holding me back?
- Am I leaning in or running way?
- Am I allow this to impact my performance, and what am I going to do?
Let the fear be there, but let it drive you. Reach out anytime if you would like some support or to deep dive into your fears! email@example.com
I love the process of affirmations, but even I struggle to find the right words sometimes. I love this article The Only 100 Positive Affirmations You Will Ever Need. It does such a great job of sharing affirmations specific to unique situation. I hope you enjoy this article from Farnoosh Brock at Prolific Living.
When you feel lonely and sad:
1. I feel the love of those who are not physically around me.
2. I take pleasure in my own solitude.
3. I am too big a gift to this world to feel self-pity.
4. I love and approve of myself.
When you feel terrified (without your safety being in danger):
5. I focus on breathing and grounding myself.
6. Following my intuition and my heart keeps me safe and sound.
7. I make the right choices every time.
8. I draw from my inner strength and light.
9. I trust myself.
When you feel insignificant:
10. I am a unique child of this world.
11. I have as much brightness to offer the world as the next person.
12. I matter and what I have to offer this world also matters.
13. I may be one in 7 billion but I am also one in 7 billion.
When you are nervous or afraid:
14. I trust my inner wisdom and intuition.
15. I breathe in calmness and breathe out nervousness.
16. This situation works out for my highest good.
17. Wonderful things unfold before me.
When you are angry:
18. I forgive myself for all the mistakes I have made.
19. I let go of my anger so I can see clearly.
20. I accept responsibility if my anger has hurt anyone.
21. I replace my anger with understanding and compassion.
22. I offer an apology to those affected by my anger.
When you feel hopeless and at the end of your rope:
23. I may not understand the good in this situation but it is there.
24. I muster up more hope and courage from deep inside me.
25. I choose to find hopeful and optimistic ways to look at this.
26. I kindly ask for help and guidance if I cannot see a better way.
27. I refuse to give up because I haven’t tried all possible ways.
When you feel conflicted about a decision:
28. I know my wisdom guides me to the right decision.
29. I trust myself to make the best decision for me.
30. I receive all feedback with kindness but make the final call myself.
31. I listen lovingly to this inner conflict and reflect on it until I get to peace around it.
32. I love my family even if they do not understand me completely.
33. I show my family how much I love them in all the verbal and non-verbal ways I can.
34. There is a good reason I was paired with this perfect family.
35. I choose to see my family as a gift.
36. I am a better person from the hardship that I’ve gone through with my family.
When you are among friends:
37. I choose friends who approve of me and love me.
38. I surround myself with people who treat me well.
39. I take the time to show my friends that I care about them.
40. My friends do not judge me, nor do they influence what I do with my life.
41. I take great pleasure in my friends, even if we disagree or live different lives.
When you are around strangers:
42. I am beautiful and smart and that’s how everyone sees me.
43. I take comfort in the fact that I can always leave this situation.
44. I never know what amazing incredible person I will meet next.
45. The company of strangers teaches me more about my own likes and dislikes.
When you are at work:
46. I am doing work that I enjoy and find fulfilling.
47. I play a big role in my own career success.
48. I ask for and do meaningful, wonderful and rewarding work.
49. I engage in work that impacts this world positively.
50. I believe in my ability to change the world with the work that I do.
When you can’t sleep:
51. Peaceful sleep awaits me in dreamland.
52. I let go of all the false stories I make up in my head.
53. I release my mind of thought until the morning.
54. I embrace the peace and quiet of the night.
55. I sleep soundly and deeply and beautifully into this night.
When you don’t want to face the day:
56. This day brings me nothing but joy.
57. Today will be a gorgeous day to remember.
58. My thoughts are my reality so I think up a bright new day.
59. I fill my day with hope and face it with joy.
60. I choose to fully participate in my day.
When you worry about your future:
61. I let go of worries that drain my energy.
62. I make smart, calculated plans for my future.
63. I am a money magnet and attract wealth and abundance.
64. I am in complete charge of planning for my future.
65. I trust in my own ability to provide well for my family.
When you can’t get your loved ones to support your dreams:
66. I follow my dreams no matter what.
67. I show compassion in helping my loved ones understand my dreams.
68. I ask my loved ones to support my dreams.
69. I answer questions about my dreams without getting defensive.
70. My loved ones love me even without fully grappling with my dreams.
71. I accept everyone as they are and continue on with pursuing my dream.
When you come face to face with a problem:
72. I am safe and sound. All is well.
73. Everything works out for my highest good.
74. There is a great reason this is unfolding before me now.
75. I have the smarts and the ability to get through this.
76. All my problems have a solution.
When you want to do more with your life but feel stuck:
77. I attempt all – not some – possible ways to get unstuck.
78. I seek a new way of thinking about this situation.
79. The answer is right before me, even if I am not seeing it yet.
80. I believe in my ability to unlock the way and set myself free.
When you can’t stop comparing yourself to others:
81. I have no right to compare myself to anyone for I do not know their whole story.
82. I compare myself only to my highest self.
83. I choose to see the light that I am to this world.
84. I am happy in my own skin and in my own circumstances.
85. I see myself as a gift to my people and community and nation.
When you feel you are not good enough no matter how hard you try:
86. I am more than good enough and I get better every day.
87. I give up the habit to criticize myself.
88. I adopt the mindset to praise myself.
89. I see the perfection in all my flaws and all my genius.
90. I fully approve of who I am, even as I get better.
91. I am a good person at all times of day and night.
When you want to give up:
92. I cannot give up until I have tried every conceivable way.
93. Giving up is easy and always an option so let’s delay it for another day.
94. I press on because I believe in my path.
95. It is always too early to give up on my goals.
96. I must know what awaits me at the end of this rope so I do not give up.
When you recognize how powerful, gifted, talented and brilliant you really are:
97. The past has no power over me anymore
98. I embrace the rhythm and the flowing of my own heart.
99. All that I need comes to me at the right time and place in this life.
100. I am deeply fulfilled with who I am.
Networking is such a wonderful thing….
I love networking for: meeting new people, meeting potential clients, growing my business, making friends and getting out of my comfort zone.
I tell people all the time about the crazy ways I get clients and meet people in general. They always want to hear more of my crazy networking ideas, so here is a list of creative ways to network!
- Social Media (duh!)
- Facebook: join groups, have conversations, meet people, reach out, comment on friend’s posts, private message, reconnect with older connections.
- LinkedIn: Send someone a note that has an interesting profile, job of interest to you, similar experience, or experience you desire – ask to have a virtual meet up for coffee.
- Mentor others – find someone to mentor
- Get a new mentor and/or coach
- Volunteer somewhere new
- Join a meetup – virtual or in person
- Go somewhere new, alone – see what happens
- Start a conversation with someone when you never would…
- Go to an event (something of interest) – arrive early, mingle
- Host your own event - even if virtual
- Host or start your own meetup
- Talk to a stranger at the library!
- Start a fundraiser to support a cause of interest – us online websites for this and invite supporters to connect with you
- Go to a conference, sit in a new seat after every session, met the people next to you, invite someone to lunch/dinner
- Invite someone to talk to you (like mentor) and just listen
- Ask open-ended questions (not just yes/no answers)
- Start a blog, website, youtube channel, etc
Feel free to leave a comment and share your favorite way to network too!
As I write this we begin the second quarter of 2017. I hope this information is helpful no matter when you are tuning in!
We are horrible at checking in with ourselves...
Why is that?
We can’t seem to stop, reflect and check in on our progress. It’s easy to beat ourselves up at the end of the year when we don’t achieve our goals, but not easy to force ourselves to stop and course correct mid-year.
So, let's do a check in together, right now. No matter when you read this, the content will be helpful!
- On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your growth, progress and goal achievement for the last 90 days?
- What do you want the theme for your next 12-months to be?
- What is one new thing you want to do?
- What is one new thing you want to discover?
- Who do you want to spend more time within the next 12-months?
- What skills do you want to learn, improve or master?
- Which personal quality do you want to develop?
- Which personal strengths do you want to strengthen?
- What do you want your everyday life to be like?
- What do you want your everyday life to feel like?
- Which habits do you NEED to change or get rid of?
- Which habits do you NEED to cultivate or grow?
- What do you want to achieve career-wise?
- At this moment, what is your number one goal for the next 12-months?
- What is one action you will take RIGHT NOW to move closer to that goal?
Raise your hand if you would like more time?! (did you raise your hand?)
I thought time-management would be a great subject to start the year off talking about. Let’s face it, we can all use more time. Time is the number one excuse people use for not achieving their goals and not going for their dreams.
So today we are going to talk about how to put more time back in your day (or make it feel that way at least).
I have two exercises to get you started that you can implement right away.
- Write down everything you do in a day. Walk around with a notepad and write down all your activities and how much time it took to complete them. The more detailed you get with this the better.
- Keep this log for an entire week (note you can do it for just work or just home – or both – choose base on where you have time use issues).
- After a week analyze the list. Circle all the activities that were value added and needed to be done. This might be driving to work, brushing my teeth, sleeping, cooking dinner, etc. How many hours did you spend? How much time was left? Are there things on this list you can delegate to someone else, or hire someone to do for you? These are the items that must occur – so if we can get help, let’s do it!
- Review the rest of the items on your list. Were there large chunks of time spent on non-value added activities? Or was it lots of small amounts of time? How can you remove some of those activities from your list and replace them with new value-added activities?
This exercise is a good starting point. It often creates some ah-ha moments and allows for removal of a few non-value activities that you may not have realized you spent as much time on as you do.
Focus on finding the thing that is blocking you from moving forward or making progress. That trigger that holds you back. Let me clarify.
- I start to feel crunched for time when I get overwhelmed.
- I get overwhelmed when I have a lot going on.
- I have a lot going on when I’m not effectively completing one task before moving onto the next.
And I could continue here – but you get the idea. I know for me personally one of my “triggers” is a messy house. If my home is messy I feel cluttered, tense and like I have weights on my shoulders. As soon as I clean it up I am able to see the forest through the trees again and move forward.
You may know your trigger already, or you may not.
Using the concept of the 5-whys can help you get there. Ask why do I not have enough time. Then why again, and again and so on.
Hope these exercises are helpful! Feel free to reach out anytime if you need support.
Don't let time-management be the thing holding you back from achieving your goals! If you would like some support with creating a plan to free up more time feel free to schedule a 30-minute coaching session here.
Life Lessons from Corporate: Being successful doesn’t mean you are destined to fall or fail – it just means more success is around the corner for you to find.
There was a visual I used to show in corporate. Half the screen was blanked out and on one side it showed a person at the top of a peak. They achieved their goal, they got to the top. Then the blank goes away to reveal around the corner was another mountain 10 times the size.
The point of the visual was actually centered around continuous improvement and productivity. To demonstrate that even when you think you are there, there could be more challenges. You may think you found the best, fastest, most direct route, but there is another peak to climb.
It was a great visual for different projects and activities. It was a really great way to explain that change and improvement need to be constant to keep pushing the company into new heights.
The visual is a perfect example for life...
- Are you seeking continuous improvement even when it feels like things are perfect and working?
- Are you pushing yourself higher, faster, harder to see what the next peak you can climb is?
- Do you feel like you have reached it all and things, “just can’t get any better than this”?
Well I have news for you – it can always get better.
So even if you think you have achieved it all and reached it all – don’t give up continuing to look for greatness and striving for more. Being successful doesn’t mean you are destined to fall or fail – it just means more success is around the corner for you to find.
What will it take for you to reach new success heights in 2017?
As always, here if you need me!
Time and time again I continue to have the conversation with people around how to make big, long lasting changes. And time and time again I go back to plan your work, work your plan.
When you have a plan, schedule your tasks and follow through this will lead you to big changes. PERIOD...
If you have goals you want to meet you need to create a plan.
- Know what you want – what is the vision or the big thing you want to achieve
- Write SMART goals to go with it (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely)
- Generate tasks for each of these larger goals
- Determine what is holding you back (road blocks) and what you can do to remove those
- Back off a series of goals/tasks so you know when to start and how much time you need
- Schedule all the tasks and actions you need to take in your calendar
Beyond this, there are specific strategies for logging and tracking these goals that you may find helpful. There are many people out there that don’t like the idea of goal setting. There are even some coaches that say you don’t need to set goals, you just need to execute. Although I don't agree with this fully, I do agree with this on some level.
For me, it’s really all about.
- Having a vision and knowing what you are working toward
- Writing that vision down and making it visible
- Taking small steps toward that vision
- just starting - because momentum leads to big change
Beyond that, the process you use is just whatever process works best for you! This is one of the advantages of working with a coach. A coach can help hold you accountable and help you set and document goals in a way that works best for you!
When you have a lot going on or too many things on your checklist overload kicks in and you get NOTHING done. I hate those days where I look at my list (pages long) and realize that nothing was accomplished and I worked hard all day....
The fix is to break it down into manageable parts. Pick the top three things that need to be completed and focus on those till they are done. Period, nothing else, only those.
Pick three - complete...
Once done you can choose another three and so on - but be sure to only focus on the top three at a time.
UNCONVENTIONAL = AUTHENTIC
Being unconventional really means being your true self, the real you regardless of what others think or do. It gets back to being authentic and being you.
When I work with clients we dig into this to help you not only identify what truly makes you unique in this world but we work through the fear (we all have) around being our self and not caring what others think.
~Be aware at all times
~Don’t “try too hard” or force it
~Have an open mind
~Trust your gut
~Know your values and priorities
~Focus on personal growth
~Know your personal elevator pitch and how to describe yourself
This week I share my interview with Lacey Craig a business & success coach.
Lacey reminds us that “ease” doesn’t always mean easy! Check into your head-space. Are you really not in the flow, or is it something else? What is your mindset… and what do you really need?
You can join Lacey in The Lit up & Loaded Entrepreneur FB group for more great tips and amazing conversation!
Join me as I interview Amy Walsh. I ask Amy for one tip to support a creative breakthrough. You will love this 5-min tip of the day as its one you can use over and over!
You can find Amy here at www.amywalsh.net
Dear Coach Jen,
What was the hardest part about starting a business in Costa Rica?
There were a lot of things that were both a blessing and a curse! I lived in the jungle 5 minutes from the beach and with a pool at my house. That can make it hard to stay focused! I had internet issues at times, mostly just slow speed. The power would go out regularly which would impact my wifi and phone connection. BUT… Mindset--- this was my biggest block. I was having so much fun it was hard to stop and get myself focused to be in business. I found I would make a lot of excuses that had nothing to do with my business. It was too hot, I had no desk, etc. Once I realized I was holding myself back I got committed! I met with a coach, I went to a conference in the US, I hosted a HUGE event and spent hours coaching and building content. Within 2 months I went from saying I had a business to really having one with paying clients and movement forward!
You will make excuses no matter where you are. Catch yourself doing it, get focused and change your mindset!
Being an entrepreneur is not easy. Saying bye-bye to your corporate job is not easy. So if you are seriously considering taking the leap here are some questions you may want to think about asking yourself. Take some time to reflect on these and see where it leads you!
1. Why do you want to start your own business?
2. Do you have a strong support system in place?
3. Does your partner understand what you are doing?
4. Do you have funds saved start up?
5. Do you learn from failure – or let it defeat you?
6. Are you able to self-motivate?
7. Do you have a business idea, or need supporting finding one?
8. Do you have clarity on who you want to serve?
9. Do you know the strengths & skills you bring to the table?
10. Do you have the luxury (time) to start a “side-hustle” or do you need to be fully committed?
11. Are you good at managing your time now, or is this an area to work on?
12. Do you have requirements on # of hours, work life balance – etc?
13. Do you believe you can and will succeed?
14. If you are currently unhappy, do you know why and what will resolve it?
15. Are you good at organizing, planning and goal setting?
16. How risk averse are you?
17. Are you able to handle criticism?
18. Are you able to adapt and make quick changes?
19. Are you a leader?
20. Are you ready to adopt the entrepreneur lifestyle?
Spend some time reflecting on these questions and take note of areas you need to focus on before you take your leap. If you need support working through this and getting your Step Zero set up please reach out to me, I'm here for you!
1) Read! You need to be reading, a lot. Open your mind to new ideas and concepts. Keep filling yourself up with new thoughts and ideas. Depending on what stage your at or your personal goals will vary what you read. I will share books in a later post.
-The news or news feeds
I know this may seem obvious but whatever you are doing, take it to the next level
2) Repeat... They say that you have to say something 7 times, 7 ways for it to sink in. This applies to what you are learning as well. I put repeat in here because I think it is commonly overlooked. Go back and read a book again with a new set of lenses. Anything you have already done or tried don't be afraid to go back and do it again. You will be surprised what different piece sinks in on the second try.
4) Ask others what they are doing. You would be surprised how unique everyone's personal development really is when you start to discuss the details. Ask others and try what they are doing.
5) Get a coach. A coach will always take you to the next level by asking thought provoking questions and challenging you to think differently. If you are passionate about growth and don't yet have a coach, you are behind! Ask others you know who their coach is, if its working for them, do research, try a free consultation. It may take a couple conversations to find the right coach of you, but they are out there and ready to help you!
6) Attend a conference, or free on-line Summit. Discovery Coaching is hosting a FREE on-line Women's Leadership Summit right now. There are a million others like this out there. Register for a free event and jut take advantage of the learning and the networking.
7) Better your goals. Write them better, get more specific, make them more challenging, add new ones. Push yourself to ensure you really did write the correct goals for you and that you are actually working toward them. Write down what is important to you in life – and compare it to your goals. If what you say are your values doesn't align with your plan/goals, you have a big problem...
8) Start looking at every situation as a learning opportunity. Open your eyes and again look on with a different lens. Introduce yourself to someone you wouldn't have before. Go left instead of right just because. Take a spinning class instead of yoga. Just start mixing it up and see where it leads you. We are creatures of habit and although there are many great advantages to habit, it can also pull us away from trying new things (AKA developing).
Which of these sparked a new idea for you?
What are you grateful for? How often do you really think about this and reflect on it? Thanksgiving isn't the only time of year we should be thankful and grateful.
I challenge you to start a gratitude practice. It's easy, like really, really easy! Every morning when you wake up spend 5 minutes journalling about what you are grateful for. It's that simple. By starting your day off thinking of the wonderful things you have going for you an intention is being set in your mind. You will start to see a shift in your thoughts, happiness level and possibly even in the way you tackle certain obstacles. Start your gratitude practice today. I do mine every morning at 5:30 while drinking my coffee before my daughter wakes up. When she wakes up I am already smiling, happy and feeling grateful and blessed. It's such a great way to greet her!
I provide gratitude journals to all my Leadership Circle participants as a gift. This is a hugely important part of the mindset practice needed to excel at your personal development.
First of all, this has nothing to do with a competition with men... let me just be clear about that.
Below are just 5 of the reasons to strive to be a strong leader as a woman.
1) Because you have something to bring to the table – so do it! Your knowledge, ideas, background are just as value-added if not more than those around you so share it.
2) You bring a new and different perspective. If you have worked in a male dominated industry for a long time you recognize that you have a very different perspective than the rest of the team. And there may even be push back from them at first, but in the end all strong leaders recognize the value of every unique idea and the team (industry, etc) will be thankful to have your thoughts.
3) You are being watched! Not just by your team, but by your daughter, niece, neighbor, the gal that just start at the company, etc... You have people looking up to you and wanting to learn from your example. Be the best you can be for yourself, and for them.
4) Women bring a softer side to business. You don't always have to be a tough leader, relish in your natural instincts and the softer side. Everyone needs a nurturer at some point in their life, even in business. Women have the ability to do this, don't loose site of this huge skill.
5) Because you can, because you are ready. Women have a tendency to think they are never really ready. I need to learn more, get another training, get a certificate, do more, do better, etc... no – just go do it now when want it and the skills will round out as you go. You are ready and you can do it.
What else would you add to this list?
YES... Yes they do. So why do you never achieve yours? Because of you, only you are standing in your way. How to achieve your new years resolution:
1) Write it down – and get very specific (add tasks)
2) Tell people you are doing it. What get said aloud gets done
3) Display it where you can see it daily (post it on fridge, bathroom mirror, etc)
4) Get an accountability partner. Find someone that has the same or similar goal, and do it together.
5) Get a coach! They will help you track to your goals, adjust as needed, discuss roadblocks and how to push through. A coach will be your best asset to achieving your New Years Resolution.
Now go and achieve those Resolutions!!